Quotes/Tips 11-20

Quote #11: "Have you got a large Castel Coch, Mr. Wright?"
(Shelley, seized by a sudden interest in Pete Wright's march cards)
Tip #11: If drinking tea makes you belch, then please don't drink tea. Especially at Committee Meetings.

Quote #12: "That'll teach him to wake up early in the mornings"
(Andy threatening to make his infant child learn the Baritone later in life)
Tip #12: Before asking everyone where your glasses are, first check your face.

Quote #13: *Staunchly anti-brass violist finally reveals weakness for brass!*
Unnamed Viola Player: "I really like that piece. It's really stompy and BRASSY, just my kinda stuff."
Russell : "Ha ha ha ha..."
UVP: "Oh no.... SHUT UP..... please don't tell anyone I said that."
Tip#13: If you have to get on the wrong side of someone in your band, make sure it isn't the player that sits directly behind you.

Quotes #14 (Melvin White special edition):
(to Horns) "Can you lengthen it for me please...I've always wanted it lengthened"
(to Basses) "I knew it was a bad thing exposing it"
(to Russell) "I see your instrument's shrunk in the past few weeks...too many showers"
Tip #14: If you get lost on the way to band (a journey you take every week), thereby passing other band members coming the other way, never admit it in front of everyone else. Make excuses. Be inventive.

Quotes #15 : (Adjudicator, about us): "You play musically" (!!)
(Shelley, reading our contest adjudication comments): "Oh, 'cold and uninteresting'...I always get that" (Peter): "And that's not even your cornet playing..."
Tip#15: At contests, when moving a cymbal cradle, be sure to remove the cymbals first.

Quote #16 : "I first started liking (Citroen) 2CVs because of the back seat"
(to much eyebrow-raising, Olau explains her obsession with her cars)
Tip #16: Ambulance drivers - Do not lean almost completely out of the vehicle at junctions, making odd hand signals and shouting "I'm going to be late". This is not the best way to let someone know you will be late to band that evening. It confuses other drivers, and alarms patients.

Quote #17 : "That's the best noise you've made all day" (Tim congratulates Shelley on her most lady-like belching prowess)
Tip #17: When leaning over Portaloos, first make sure you have a firm grip on your mobile phone.

Quote #18 : "Colin's a naff name...um... for a car, I mean" (Karen K. fails to realise Colin is sitting just two seats away)
Tip #18: When, in a nightclub, someone suggests that you do the splits (à la MC Hammer), think long and hard about whether it's a good idea before attempting it. It saves a lot of wasted time for you, your friends, and the paramedic crew.

Quote #19 : "Prawns, noodles, press ...prawns, noodles, press...prawns, noodles, press... prawns, noodles, press"
(Phil on the delights of his Summer job on a factory line)
Tip #19: Cornet players: those two lines with the dots before them are called "Repeat Marks" and mean you are supposed to go back and play that section again.