PREVIOUS QUOTES/TIPS OF THE WEEK (1-10)
Quote #1: "I
can't move my tongue quickly enough" (Shelley)
Tip #1: Always proof-read posters before sending to the printers
Quote #2: "I'm
told the basses played well on Saturday" (Peter)
Tip #2: Never leave a barrel of beer and a brass band together unguarded
Quote #3: "I
taught him everything he knows...he spent a lot of time under me" (Karen
Wells, about Colin apparently)
Tip #3: Calling the webmaster a swine is not terribly likely to
stop you featuring in "Quote of the Week"
Quote #4: "You
Tart!" (Kate to Herbie)
Tip #4: When ordering food in a restaurant try to remember what you asked for.
This stops you eating someone else's meal by mistake and thus confusing the
waiting staff.
Quote #5: "He
can come and stay with me...see if he can do anything with me"
(Pete Wright, about Alan Morrison!)
Tip #5: Crash your car and write it off. Not only do you get the "inconvenience"
of a brand-new hire car for three weeks, but the insurance company will want
to give you more money back than you paid for it in the first place.
Don't hold me responsible if it doesn't work for you though
Quote #6: "I
thought I'd caught him before his head hit the floor, but obviously I hadn't"
(Russell on how to look after a baby brother)
Tip #6: Never agree that something is a good idea, unless you are prepared to
be "volunteered" to organise it
Quote #7: "I
may be blonde and I may be a woman, but I'm not stupid" (Shelley)
Tip #7: When buying instant "just-add-hot-water" snacks, never try
to be thrifty and buy own-brand pasta pots. Put a little more money in and you'll
get a lot more out.
Quote #8: "Some
people play for Championship Section bands, some play for Battle. It's just
bad karma, punishment for the bad things they did in their previous life."
(Glenn Hoddle. Well...)
Tip #8: Don't do bad things.
Quote #9: "It
doesn't say anywhere that we need to bring registration cards" (Peter)
Tip #9: Better safe than sorry.
Quote #10: "It
doesn't matter what it looks like, as long as it blows well" (Peter)
Tip #10: When it comes to pat-on-the-head time at the end of concerts,
check behind you to make sure it really is you that the conductor wants
to stand up.