New Musical Terms
In an effort to keep you abreast of the ever-changing world of musical terminology, we provide you with some terms with which you should be familiar...
Adagio Formaggioso: To play in a slow and cheesy manner.
AnDante: A musical composition that is infernally slow.
Angus Dei: To play with a divine, beefy tone (NOT named after our Angus, in case you wondered...).
Anti-phonal: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall.
A Patella: Unaccompanied knee-slapping (see also "Schneewalzer").
Appologgiatura: A composition, solo or instrument (or fellow band member...), you regret playing.
Approximatura: A series of notes played by a performer, not intended by the composer.
Approximento: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch (see also "horns").
Bar Line: What musicians form after a concert.
Concerto Grossissimo: A really bad performance.
Coral Symphony: (see "Beethoven - Caribbean period").
Cornetti-Trombosis: The entanglement of brass instruments that can occur when musicians exit hastily down the stage stairs
Dill Piccolo: A wind instrument that plays only sour notes.
Fermantra: A note that is repeated over and over and over and ...
Fermoota: A rest of indefinite length and dubious value.
Foghornoso: A sound that is heard when the conductor's intentions are not clear. Or in Padstow Lifeboat.
Frugalhorn: A sensible, inexpensive brass instrument (often played, as in our case, by a sensible accountant-type).
Gaul Blatter: A French horn player.
Good Conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance. or, alternative use, one who obeys the band
Gregorian Shan't: Monk who refuses to sing.
Goffrichendo: Gradually getting annoyingly louder.
Mallade: A lyrical solo that's pretty awful. A lame duck, perhaps.
Molto bolto: Head straight for the ending.
Opera buffa: Musical stage production by nudists.
Poochini Opera: Musical performance, accompanied by a dog.
Pre-Classical Conservatism: School of thought which fostered the idea, "if it ain't baroque, don't fix it."
Spritzicato: Plucking of a stringed instrument (what?) to produce a bright, bubbly sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional).
Tempo Tantrumo: When a young band refuses to keep time with the conductor (as if...).
Tincanabulation: The annoying or irritating sounds made by extremely cheap bells.
Vesuvioso: A gradual build-up to a fiery conclusion.
ZZZfortzando: Playing REALLY loud in order to wake up the audience (also Bb basses/back-row cornets).
Please e-mail us...any further suggestions are welcome!