The B.T.B. Commitment League
For current 2003 scores click here or scroll down page

Certain conductors rant on every so often about "commitment" (who could this be?). Now, in some bands a page such as this would be pointless, such is the level of "commitment", or so we are led to believe. There are some in banding who take things a little more seriously than is perhaps healthy. Not so here at Battle...

Our very own "Name 'em and Shame 'em" Battle Town Band Commitment League started life as a simple drunken suggestion after an evening's quaffing four years back. The debut season aroused controversy, blackmailed more than one person into coming to rehearsals they otherwise would not have done, and provided not a little amusement, ending up with one point separating the top two. The 2000 season was much the same, although the results were nearly a year late in being announced following rehearsal-rigging allegations...2001 (for final 2001 table click here) was a bit of a one-horse race, with Russell easily retaining the title. For the record, 2002 was a lot closer, but unfortunately with the same end result (for final 2002 table click here). If necessary the 2003 competition will be run on a handicap basis to stop him winning again.

The rules for 2003 are changed only in as much as points will now be given for Whatlington and similar "smaller group" events where we do actually need as many players as possible:

REHEARSALS - 3 points for attendance, less one point each for late arrivals and early departures. Non-attendance for a reason (no matter what reason, good or bad) scores zero.

CONCERTS - 5 points for attendance, less two points each for late arrivals and early departures. Again, non-attendance scores zero, but if the player is expected to turn up and doesn't...minus four.

MOBILE PHONES - Due to excessive reliance on mobile phones by certain band members, use of these instruments of Satan during a rehearsal is punished by ½ a point each time. Humbug. Obviously trombones are also instruments of Satan, but I'll stop short of fining trombonists for using them during rehearsals.

UNLADYLIKE/UNGENTLEMANLY BEHAVIOUR (Belching) - Certain band members are notorious for letting their windy digestive systems get the better of them during rehearsals. Whilst this site generally condones rowdy behaviour, there is something about an ostentatious belch that is most unseemly in a public place. With this in mind, over-the-top belches during concerts and rehearsals is punishable by a half-point fine. At the risk of sounding like a "Daily Mail" reader, I don't care about infringements of human rights, the Geneva Convention does not cover breaking wind in any fashion as far as I'm aware, so either go belch elsewhere or do it quietly. Also, I don't care how beautifully resonant, deep and sonorous the belch is, it still gets fined. Oh, and call me a hypocrite if you wish, but I don't intend to extend the definition of "ungentlemanly behaviour" to chronic flatulence...

OTHER - I did think about extending the definition of "commitment" to include going to the pub after rehearsals. However, as certain band members would score so heavily here as to top the league instantly and permanently, this has been restricted. This year I am still not giving points for Youth Band concerts, but the bigger band socials (Xmas dinner, BBQ, fund-raisers etc...) still earn 2 points. Whatlington, and other small-group concerts where we need as many players as possible, count as per usual gigs.

Obviously band members with any position of responsibility would be expected to turn up more regularly, so these people have said positions marked below as and where necessary (and committee members are marked with an asterisk*)...Of course Peter Mitchell, as conductor, should always score maximum points, so to get the ball rolling:

PETER'S CURRENT 2003 SCORE - 133 out of a possible 169...

2003 SEASON

Return to Main Page